as of today, I have been sober for five years. five years. so much has happened in those five years.
I have been (essentially) told that I’m not allowed to call myself “sober” because it wasn’t like I had a drinking problem. but that’s not how I see it. no, I wasn’t going out every night or even every week, but I was still going out and getting drunk with certain people because I thought it made me seem cool.
I was young and impressionable, and I thought that this was what I was supposed to be doing. but I wasn’t taking care of myself. it was so easy for me to quickly get drunk with maybe a drink or two because I wasn’t eating like I should have been. I would look back the next day and just didn’t like who I had been the night before. I would look ahead and see the way that my life was going to turn out if I kept this up. one of those cringey moments was when I cried on new year’s eve because the ice in my water melted. I laugh about it now, but I also feel sad for the 22-year-old I was.
so, no, I didn’t really have a big drinking problem, but I could have if I didn’t change my ways. yes, I still crave the whiskey sometimes, but I’m glad that it’s not in my life anymore.
I guess the moral of the story is that you can be proud of who you are and the decisions you make for yourself. just because I didn’t have to dig myself out of a hole doesn’t mean I can’t claim my journey.
here’s to five years clean, and the next five ahead.
a photographer with the desire to hide behind the camera a little less and let the light shine through.