2017: the year I traveled to a different continent for the first time, spent time in five states (plus the Atlanta airport), and saw more of Wisconsin than I have since I was in middle school. countless trips to Appleton, a whirlwind week and a half in Ecuador, a drive home from Minneapolis, a few days in Milwaukee, drives up and down Door County, Sheboygan, dinner in Sheboygan Falls, Wilmot, Kenosha, Green Bay, McHenry, Madison, Merrill, Menominee, another great adventure in St. Pete, Chicago. the best thing I learned this year was that even though I work a lot, I can still drive for a few hours and experience something beautiful and new. I can’t wait to see where 2018 brings me.
is it because of my obsession with fashion that began as a child reading Vogue, and later reading Women in Clothes and Worn Stories that I look at my clothes and remember the things that happened when I was wearing them, or is that something completely normal that everyone does? I wore that floral skirt on my first trip to Universal, that pair of black skinny jeans reminds me of a rainy Sunday morning in June and an August evening concert. my light blue Converse low tops carried me around during my first trip to Florida, and then after stepping off the plane in Chicago, downtown through a blizzard at midnight in the middle of the street with a thirty-pound suitcase. the tulle skirt I wore to my first niece’s baptism was worn a year and a half later while walking around an art museum before my car died later in the day. that red dress has seen a Valentine’s Day, a Christmas, and a song-inspired photoshoot on the bridge. a couple days ago, I wore a shirt and later in the evening realized that I was wearing it exactly six months earlier at one of the most beautiful places I visited this year. there are things that I won’t get rid of even though I refuse to wear them because of the memories attached to them.
sometimes I allow myself to let things go if they’re going to take up too much space once they are unwearable. my favorite pair of Steve Madden leather riding boots came into my life four years ago, nearly to the day. I ruined them in the salty slush on my first solo trip (to Minneapolis) years before they carried me up and down a mountain on a horse in Ecuador. in between, I wore them in Florida and all over Door County, during every SBSF, DS, and LOH. the zippers would jingle when I walked, which annoyed me as much as it amused me. sadly, one of those zippers broke beyond my repairing ability during SBSF this June and I was filled with deep sorrow to throw them away, even though it meant that I would finally allow myself to buy a pair of long-coveted Frye boots.
the memories stitched themselves in between the threads that hold everything else together.
chances are pretty good that if you're reading this right now, it's because you clicked the link that I posted on facebook, so hello, non-strangers. I bet you already know, or think you know, a lot about me.
I'm not big on posting a lot of things on facebook because there is just so much already there from everyone, and I don't want to add to all of that. but the beauty of this blog is that you get to make the conscious decision to click over and read it. it's your choice. so if you don't like something you see here, it's your choice to read it, or to leave and not read it.
this is my life, and this is where we are. I hope that reading this will help you not only learn something about me, but about yourself and the people around you. we're all we have.
why are you starting a blog, and why are you choosing to make it public knowledge to the people in your life this time?
I considered going to a therapist to talk about my feelings. you know, like a mental health professional. but then I decided that I didn't really want to talk to someone I don't know about the things in my life, so I made the choice to instead buy a domain and post things publicly on the internet that people I already know could read if they wanted to know what was actually going on in my real life. maybe sometimes it'll be paragraphs long, maybe other times just a few sentences. maybe I'll post every day, or maybe it'll be weeks between posts. we'll see what happens. sometimes I post photos with a lot of words in the caption on instagram, and it made me realize that I missed blogging and having a place for my words to go with pictures too. I guess the short answer is that I want to be heard, but in a place where people get to make the decision on whether or not they want to listen.
okay, but what does "whispered ramblings" mean?
well, whispered is because I'm generally quiet. until you really get to know me, and then you would learn that there are some days when I just can't stop talking or laughing. but you know that scene in Parks & Rec where Jerry is talking, and he's not used to talking to people for that long, so the things he says don't make sense anymore? that's how I feel.
I guess if you have any further questions, you probably know how to find me.